Diet update

Not my image and not my moobs

This dieting lark gave me a stark reminder over Christmas that it won't be taken complacently. I didn't go nuts by any means, but did give myself a relaxed week in which nice food was consumed guilt-free, puddings, cream, butter and roast potatoes making a welcome return to mealtimes. The result, after only one week, I gained 7lbs! It seemed a cruel injustice, my wife who had munched through three boxes of chocolates had only gained 2.5lbs. Even accounting for her being small and me being large, I had still gained a disproportionate percentage of my bodyweight. I felt like a barrage balloon and wondered if some of the change was due to the temporary return of salt to my diet but, since it took a further three weeks to get back to where I'd started, I guess it was flab pure and simple.

Anyways, since the New Year I have been pretty good and am now fully back on track, having lost 24.5lbs since joining Fat-fighters as part of my epic quest to stop being a fat old bastard. There is a long long way still to go, 93.5lbs in fact, but this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I know I shall get there in the end. Meanwhile, I am determined to lose another 16.5+lbs between now and the 31st March, so I guess I am going to have to once more face up to the harridan Rhonda, the voice of the weight-loss programs on our treadmill. I have not used the treadmill regularly for more than nine months so it will be a bit of a trauma starting again, if you hear strange noises drifting on the wind it will likely be my joints creaking.

No Fat Club next week as I am away up to London to watch Graham Linehan's adaptation of 'The Ladykillers", then having dinner in one of Jamie Oliver's restaurants, one of the down-market ones I think, anyway I shall try to be sensible. So, the next weigh-in will be two weeks away, by which time I shall be "a willow, a reed, .....Audrey Hepburn"*, or gnashing my teeth and crying in frustration if I haven't made a significant dent in my target.

Also, I have had no Fat-fighters awards so far this year, and my unspoken and unacknowledged, but oh so bitterly obvious rival Emily, is starting to look a bit smug. In two weeks time I hope to have caught-up and passed her weight-loss, and once more be challenging for those coveted awards! This is tongue in cheek by the way, I know it is a personal journey, but she sits just in front of me and if ever I lose more than her lets out a frustrated sigh, she is a riot and terribly competitive, I really like her.

Right I'm done here, now to wander the house aimlessly feeling sorry for myself because I still have man-flu. Wait a minute, perhaps that has helped with the weight-loss this week, being ill could be to my advantage, maybe I should open the windows or go and stand in the freezing rain, that could be good for me?


*From the movie Night Shift